If I could hold on through the tears and the laughter (Would it be beautiful, or just a beautiful disaster?)

Dear Amy,

Clinging on to your relationship with Hans through this kind of pseudo friendship must be eating you up inside. Do you believe that he may change, that he will come to his senses, declare his undying love and propose marriage, if you just hang on a little bit longer?

“I do not either like to think we are going out of each other’s life for good, and especially if this is only on account of a misunderstanding which our pride won’t allow us to clear up. Do you not think, Hans, that if we each of us made up our mind to see the other’s point of view and try to understand the attitude of mind which has led up to our present thoughts regarding each other, that we might be able to come to a better understanding if we met and discussed things?”[1]

“I’m so glad that the thunderstorm has cleared the air and that I’m not in a nasty, bitter mood as I was before I saw you. I don’t agree with all your letter but will write it out tomorrow and try and tell you what I think. I feel somehow as tho’ a wall has been knocked down and that I can talk to you more clearly than I’ve ever been able to before. I’m sure we’ll be happier now.”[2]

Happier apart…or happier together?

“You would hardly know me now, I have changed such a lot – I am enjoying life very well and on the whole getting a lot out of it. It is glorious to be alive when the sun is shining, but even when it’s not I am still happy.”[3]

Are you trying to convince Hans that you have changed, grown, become less reliant on a significant other? And is it really he you are trying to convince, or yourself? Surely the only way to really get over someone is to cut all contact – relinquish any ‘clinging on’ once and for all. It’s a slippery slope, Amy, and sooner or later you will reach the bottom. And it will hurt.

Oh, love is blind. Love has no mercy, no certainty and no pride.

Amy Johnson letters used with kind permission of Hull Local Studies Library, Hull History Centre

[1] Johnson, communication with Arregger [Letter]. 3 April 1928

[2] Johnson, communication with Arregger [Letter]. 12 April 1928

[3] Johnson, communication with Arregger [Letter]. 5 June 1928

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